So I've been thinking alot lately. With the new year in full swing, a new president coming into office soon, the economy in the crapper, my going back to work full time and the adjustment and enjoyment of life as a new mama - I'm just overwhelmed with my thoughts. I'm having an internal battle, stuggling with trying to be okay with the way some things are - and trying to decide how to change other things. Since I love to write, and this blog thing is for journaling, naturally this is where I will vent...
I am so lucky and thankful that both my mom and my mother-in-law sew. Esperanza has already begun to receive beautifully handmade clothes, toys and dolls.
Here's Esperanza, naked, playing with her Monster Doll my mom made (the eyes are antique buttons from my grandmas collection of sewing materials). My mom also quilted the king size quilt she's laying on.
Armando's mom, Angelina, made these two outfits for Esperanza which should fit her in a few months. What did it cost to make? $3 plus a lot of time and love
These are just a few home/handmade items we have on hand - and we're looking forward to more. While Angelina and my mom are very crafty with fabrics, there are no wood crafters that I know of in the family. So, naturally I plan to purchase wood toys from some local or online artisan or retailer. Unfortunately, the products I am in the market for aren't sold from those who I'll refer to as 'The Giants'. The problem this takes us to is what inspired me to write this blog. The Consumer Products Safety Improvement Act goes into effect next month. It was passed to help protect our children from unsafe toys...one little problem though...they forgot to exclude goods that have earned and kept the public's trust: toys, clothes and accessories made in the US, Canada and Europe. To comply, retailers must spend thousands of dollars in testing...something many small businesses, artists, crafters, etc just can't afford (think Etsy). The result, unless the law is modified, is that handmade children's products will be illegal in the US. I've already come across some places that have gone out of business b/c of this law. The owner of Maligros was telling me the other day that they really don't know what will happen to them. Even the mamas of the babywearing group are frightened it'll put an end to all the baby carriers that are made & sold by WAHMs. I think everyone is just hoping something will change or that there will be some kind of an amendment to the Act. Personally, I'm hoping it'll be one of the first things Obama visits and changes. To read some details and some effects it will and already has had on small businesses, read this post the owner of A Toy Garden has on their site. While I agree it is about time we put standards on childrens products being shipped over from places like China, I think it could have been done a little differently. Personally, when I meet a local artist or business owner and talk to them face to face about the products they sell or make themselves, it's a lot easier to trust that product and person than it is to trust a sticker on a product guaranteeing an 'approved level of chemicals'. It's still been shipped from half way around the world and was manufactured in a sweat shop by a 12 year old girl who was beat for asking to use the bathroom. But hey, at least it has an approved level of chemicals that hopefully won't kill my child if swallowed right?
It's kind of like the word and labeling of 'organic' products. The FDA has set a limit for the amount of chemicals and pesticides to be used in order to create a market and standard for organic food. Yet, in order to label anything organic, it must be tested to meet certain guidlines set by the FDA. So, organic has basically lost it's meaning now. It's a long and expensive process to go through to have your farm become certified organic. So now produce that really is organic cannot legally be sold as organic. It's usually the small local farmer who puts in the time and sweat that is required to grow wholesome organic foods and I'd pick the local strawberries over a plastic container from California marked 'FDA certified organic' anyday. I'm not claiming to be perfect and don't mean to sound hypocritical either - I do shop for organic foods, especially in the winter when local farms are closed for the season and my own veggie garden is dormant. I just pick my battles thoughtfully. I will undoubtedly choose the organic spinach over the conventional spinach at the grocery store - they're both from California and I'd rather take my chances at consuming 'a safe level of chemicals' as opposed to them all. The word is blown out of proportion, has lost it's meaning, has become a status to some people and is a burdon to many local small farms. Everything was at one time not long ago truly organic, and then pesticides and other chemicals were introduced. It would have made more sense for the FDA to require labeling that indicates which products are poisoned - then shoppers can choose to purchase what they know is poisoned or one that is not. Just because something says organic, does not mean it's in it's 100% natural state.
So back to the toy thing - I'm actually considering snatching things up now and just storing them in a closet for when Esepranza will be ready for them. That may sound rediculous to some but the alternative is the risk that the 'Giants' are the only ones who will come out of this new law alive. It's been a long time since I stepped foot inside a WalMart (one of the Giants) but I'm pretty sure you can't buy a one of a kind hand crafted wooden kitchen play set there, or any other product made from natural materials for that matter (cotton might be the exception - but even that is hard to come by these days if shopping in a Giant store). They only sell plastic products and I'd probably only find a bright pink flimsy plastic kitchen with barbie all over it. I'd rather give my kid a big empty cardboard box to play with than something like that (which would actually be a great imaginative play item for young children). I'm not a huge fan of commercialized 'toys' to the extent that some families are. But I do think there are some really neat products out there that are good for imaginative and educational play. Some might argue that these types of toys/products are more expensive, and they are right. Wondering whats so special about natural toys? Here's a good explanation on the value of natural toys. And just like everything else, if you focus on buying less but better quality, they will offer great benefits to the entire family and last for generations.
Unlike when I was growing up, our neighborhoods and communities don't offer the type of environment I wish I could offer to Esperanza. They have become overpopulated with oversized houses on tiny lots with cement and overmanicured lawns not suitable for a child to play on. All the natural habitat that once served as an imaginative play ground for children to explore has been replaced with parks that have short grass sprayed with chemicals to keep it green, bark, a few small 'approved for parks' trees topped off with a plastic play gym or one made from some foriegn material that is supposed to look like wood. My own tiny backyard is neatly manicured due to the neighborhood CC&R requirements. I'm not even supposed to hang a clothes line outside!
Maybe I'm overreacting but I refuse to give in and let society mold my daughter into growing up with the idea that commercialized, media crazed, overmarketed, unimaginative, petrolium made, three quarters naked, painted faced 'bratty' dolls belong in her toy chest (which is wood BTW)! I suppose deep down I'm feeling a bit nostalgic and want Esperanza to be able to have the freedom of simple and imaginative play as I did when I grew up (thank you mom for staying home and homeschooling us). We didn't have store bought toys. Our surrounding environment made up for it so they weren't missed. We created our own jungle gym out of the 50 foot evergreen that still towers over my moms front yard. We made pets out of spiders & stray cats, toys out of rocks and twigs, we made mud pies and played hide and seek in grass that was several feet high in our back yard because we didn't always have a working lawn mower. When my parents could borrow one and the grass was mowed, we made forts and mazes out of the cut grass. When we were spending too much time indoors and had energy to burn, we were told to run laps around the back yard. We walked to the Washougal river a block away from home which provided an endless supply of natural surroundings inspiring imaginative play. Sure we got a lot of bumps, bruises, burns, sprains and even a dislocated elbow along with the adventures. But it sure was worth it.
I suppose I need to become more creative today in order to create the ideal environment for my daughter. It doesn't need to be perfect. Just balanced. A little bit of conventional wisdom to a lot of what is now referred to as an alternative lifestyle - or what is simply, living simply. I'll admit I've had thoughts of packing up and moving far into the woods away from the city and over stimulation in order to create this balance. It's difficult even as an adult making a concious decision to block out the news, media, radio, tv, magazines, billboards and advertisements - imagine how difficult it is for children when they don't even know they are being brainwashed. At least I'm aware of it and can choose how much or how little I expose myself to things. Yet, I find myself using so much internal energy for the purpose of trying to live simply - which really defeats the entire purpose. Our society is becoming more and more consumed with consumerism and capitalism - everyone wants more and bigger. And like everyone else, I've been caught up in the consumerism too - like I said, it's unavoidable. I've tried, and while I haven't completely failed, it's a constant battle to find and keep the balance. I'm all too often convinced by something or someone that I 'need' something that I really don't. Why do we need 3 tv's, 5 vehicles including the little motorcycle and jet-ski that don't get used, 2800 sq ft of living space when less than half of it gets used, more clothes and shoes that I'm willing to admit, and more knick-knacks and gadgets than I have time to use? And to top it off, I'm working my life away in order to pay for all of these material things that just sit there. Most of us work 40+ hours each week leaving our children in the hands of overworked, underpaid workers raising them in daycares and public schools (I'm fortunate the economy has forced Armando out of work to be at home with Esperanza). We recently attended a monthly parenting meeting A Gentle Beginning offers to their homebirthing parents, and this month the topic was on vaccines. One of the things I walked away from the gathering with was the awareness that many vaccines parents are pushed to give their children serve one purpose...get this...to keep parents at work and the economy strong by preventing your children from getting sick! That is sick! Don't get me wrong, there are some important vaccines children should get depending on your lifestyle. And it really is just an individual decision. But the idea that some were created so that parents don't stay home from work to care for a sick kid makes my stomach turn.
The point of it all is that by having a daughter I'm convinced now more than ever I need to do something differently with my lifestyle.
Since we don't have the natural environment for kids to play in anymore, now the option of buying natural products for children to play with or the time to put into our childrens lives because we're working so much, what are we left with and how do parents create a healthy balance for ourselves and our children? Anyone want to quit their jobs, cash in on all their investments (or walk away from all thier debts), purchase some woodsy property, build our own little community and live off the land?
